Journey Out of Hiding

It sure is!!  This is a quote from the book The Shack, author Wm. Paul Young. He said it was his favorite line from his book.   It does not sound like a 'good' thing, incremental healing, we want it quick don't we?  I remember back in the first years, oh.. well, maybe up until just the last few, but who's counting anyway?  I was always thinking "This has just GOT to be the last time!"  The last time what you may be wondering?  The last time something awful had to come out of me, or that I had to go through some awful emotions to come out the other side still with Jesus instead of wanting to be in some insane asylum somewhere. Like a quote from a movie, "Oh, to go out of my mind and to come back when I was in a fit state to drive it again!".  She was going through a hard time, and not acting like 'herself'. Leaving her senses sounded like a blessed relief; only it didn't come, she still had to deal with her life messy as it was. I said...

That last post was over a year ago.  I didn't post it until today when I came back to write another one, on the same subject. Today I am on yet another new adventure, why does He keep bringing them when they cause me this much pain!?  Oh, yeah, He's good and it is to set me free. Well, that's what happened again today. This year it is starting school. I was very, well not very, but at least comfortably engaged in a part time job, that I could do, but that offered little availability for advancement.  I began starting looking toward going to school six months ago, finally decided on something I think may fit, and here I am, it starts next week and my job ended last week, the week before Christmas. I've had a week at home and as usual I'm miserable and wonderful alternately. Every time I rest I get uncomfortable, working my butt of physically worked for me, but I'm 48 years old now. I wanted to think of the future. So, I signed up for school and we are finding f...

Something new is going on again. Every time something changes stuff gets stirred up, at least now I know it when it is happening. Well, I did at first. The change from excitement to real dread was so drastic, but now, just a couple months later, the dread is getting normal again. I don't want to let that happen.  This change, it is supposed to be a good thing.  It will be a good thing.  It probably is a good thing right now, only all I keep feeling is terror and all I keep doing is avoiding it. It has brought up some pretty scaring things, I have been taking those to God, talking to Him about them, facing the fears or whatever the emotions and inviting Him into the scary.  Begging Him to change me so this doesn't seem so true. Some books have come along during this time, the sense being, "I must do this now, no matter what I avoid to do it."  They have saved my life, teaching me truths about God I needed in this place of new things, change that always excite...