Are you what I have been afraid of?

There's this painting that my sister-in-law has done, she gave it to me and it sits on my wall, but my google photos is too full so I cannot add it here. I have been trying for over an hour and there is still not enough space made; that project is going to take awhile.

I have thoughts of 'give it up, you always do', and 'maybe it isn't meant to be anyway'. Like me? Is that the unspoken mantra that goes on in the back ground of my mind, that stops so much of my creative process. I repent from listening to it, today.


The painting is of a dark wood, the trees are very tall, the wood between them is very thick. There is a light coming down from above that is reaching through and filling up the middle even though. At the edge of the light there is a wolf, he's kind of slinking against the edge of the light. There is also a girl in a red riding hood, holding a basket. She is bending over slightly, very intent on the wolf. 

I hear her revelation, "Are YOU all that I have been afraid of? Yet, you are smaller than I thought and, it seems, you are afraid of light, while I gain my freedom within it and it within me."

Maybe, just maybe, it is me bringing myself into the light and receiving the light into me, that has separated him from me. 

Something has been walking along with me, whispering in my mind, so much apart of me that I haven't even heard the words. I have been responding to them even still. 

The whispers might be saying things like, "Hide, don't show that part of you, do not under any circumstances be seen." I have just believed the truth of it. Why, what is the unspoken thing that I think that must not under any circumstance be "seen"?  "I am the mistake." I don't even hear it. 

Where did all of this come from?  And as much as that matters, the more profitable thing for me in this moment is, how do I stop listening? 

I think painting is holding a clue for me, it strikes me every time I see it, as hope as freedom.

I love what I hear her saying to the wolf, "Are you what I have been afraid of?" As if, he's just not that scary anymore.  

Daily I can begin, to let go my agreement with the lie that has been exposed.

One day at a time. May that turn into weeks

May that then become months and maybe, 

eventually, years. 

May it be done unto me. 



 

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