A healing journey

I don't know who my audience is, or why you would be here to listen to me...

Maybe it is just better than where you would be otherwise. 😏 


I was given an image while back, 

I was face to face with Jesus.

Yep, I said "Jesus." 

I am completely sure He lives with us

 and that we don't make that happen.


In like a whisper of an image, I feel more than see, Jesus sitting facing me. 

Without words He is asking me for what I was holding.

It was just then that I am holding something, behind my back and as I pull my hand in front of me I realize, its precious to me.

After looking at it in my hand awhile

It's beautiful colors

It's perfect spherical shape

I wondered why he, of all people,

was asking me to part with it.

And knowing what I had come to know was true about Him

That he had proved to me countless times

HE is trustworthy

I eventually, I hand it to him.


He held it out in his hand between us 

for a long while 


Then he was asking 

without words again,

Could he break it open?

I am taken aback

Why would he want this?

Would he want to hurt me too?


With as much time as I needed

I come to truth inside of me 

He would not

He could not want that

So,

I 

let 

him 

break open

my

precious possession


I feel it's the only thing I actually possess

not a tangible thing

A deeply inside of me thing


He is not rash in breaking it open

He does so

also with grace

it is intact

one side 

and the other

  

Inside it was filled with 

strips of cloth

a larger pile of them

than their container.

Strips and strips

and strips


I asked him what that was, 

what did this mean?

I had various ideas

over the years


Almost twenty years later,

twenty .... years 

of living in Christ

as often and as much as I could

one day at a time

and experiencing much healing of my 

fragmented parts


The other day we were talking again

This time I see nothing

but I sense

only that I am not alone

and the one who is with me

is safe.

The sensation is like other meetings 

with Jesus


In this one he reminded me of the strips of cloth

And then I began to see an image again

not clear

not AI

not TV

just a wisp of an image

and I know, in that moment

it is him...  

he is sitting before me again

we are back there again

and right here too


He holds up a gown

it is those strips of cloth

woven together


I am done

in all  my still

Undoneness.


So this is what we've been doing

All these long years 


One strip at time,

One piece of myself

At a time

brought back into the whole


just today

and I cried through the whole thing

In front of a group of people 

And I didn't fall apart

I didn't fall into depression 

I wept over the sadness

While I rejoiced over the places

I've been met

In the mess

 All along the way.


Life is painful

Life is absurd

Life is also beautiful

and it is being woven 

together.


And that my friends 

Is a miracle. 

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