No.

I realized today

that I didn't 

have one.


Now,

being 

forced,

as it were

to find 

mine.


I find

ouch!

I don't

always

like it.


It makes 

or allows

people to think of 

me

as a

THAT...

That 

thing,

that 

person,

that 

isn't a giver

or kind

or loving.


but No.

is also loving.


When I learn to say No

properly,

lovingly,

within

my own 

limits.

I find

also 

my 

Yes.


Giving can 

happen

out of a 

pure heart.

Vs.

obligation, 

that hides

truth and 

does not

know 

how 

to 

love. 


If your No

does not matter

your Yes

never will. ~Paul Young


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

What is the Hiding?

The hiding is hiding my true self and trying to paint on the facade a few feet in front of me of what I think you, and God, want to see.  In the world it is worldliness, in the church it is 'good works'.  But the problem is that no matter how well I do all of that, the real me never gets loved and the real me gets very, very tired, and I become a sucker for anything in this world that looks like unconditional love, which will lead me into something that also has to be hidden, like an addiction.  I cannot show the real me, that is too vulnerable, that has been hurt too many times and I'm just not going to let that happen again, if I at all can. So I hide, I fake it, and for me, I go off and cry alone.  Because I am so very alone, even amidst all kinds of approval.  Because the approval isn't for me, it's for my actions, my 'performance' if you will. At least that is what I think.  I think my true self is a mess, but what I have not been aware of most of my C...
Read more

Lord, save my children from me

Didn't wake up sad today.  Kept wondering is this real?  Couldn't find any shame. Began asking God, "What do I think about then?  I really didn't know what to do with this." There was a beautiful sunrise that drew me outside to walk and watch it. There was little water in the field glistening back at the sun. Thought to put on a song that talked of the Father singing over me. The season I'm in right now it's being exposed all l I didn't get from earthly fathers, so this song, what my heavenly Father does give to me is part of changing the affects of those events.  On the surface I sing with the song, "I open up to you Father, I receive your love."  Okay, but the longer I do it the more upset I get.  I think things like, 'don't go there, (emotions) you're not supposed to give in to those feelings.' But my spirit then says. 'No, that's not right. I don't have to fake it to this Father, He is good and He's...
Read more

Something in me knows You’re the only one who can heal me

I was drawn to spend time with You instead of returning a phone call or spending time just watching tv with the  family. Even though I’d spent most of the Sunday cooking snacks then cleaning up after myself, and felt a little bad for doing so.  But when I got there, I thought I’d be doing one thing but didn’t “feel like it” once I’d gotten there.  I ‘felt like’ just lighting a candle, turning off all the lights and sitting there. My candle illuminated a picture of the ocean with the sun casting golden light on the whole landscape. I was drawn to just look at it, I settled back in my chair and just looked, soaking up the view.  The next thing I know I am crying because this thought just crossed my mind, that "HE looks at me like that", and enjoys looking at me, like I’m enjoying looking at the beautiful scenery.  I just can’t resist it, it erodes instantly any hardness I’ve gotten in the week. In my mind I begin to try to explain what it is like as if I am exp...
Read more